Ive been living in Saudi a year now - i cant believe its already been a year - and i cant believe how many episodes i can possibly stream on my lap top in one day
In the last year ive become a mom to a 10 year old, learnt how to cook a few dishes, learnt that when my husband says he'll do something around the house it means i need to do it myself (hes very good at getting other things done - but anything to do with housework... forget about it)
Ive also learnt that its possible to want to murder and love your child at the same time, ive had to hold my tongue at times but I've also noticed how patient my husband is when i dont and thats when i know ive married the right person.
I have also become pregnant with our first baby - a daughter inshallah - and im counting down the days till i see her face and can hold her and tell her everything will be ok and that ill never let her go. Ill also have to tell her that being a woman in Saudi is very restricting but that she can find ways around things and that she'll have to work double hard to prove herself to this still extremely conservative and patriarchal society. But im not worried about her. I know she can do it. She can do anything she wants...
I truly want to bitch-slap expats - especially arab ones that come to Saudi and live in compounds and complain that their life is tough... especially anyone that lives in Aramco.. You are practically living in a city within a city - you have access to activities, events and as a woman you can even drive! You can go jogging outside your house without a abaya, you have a community to support you - you dont know how good you have it.
Meanwhile i live in a 3 bedroom apartment with no driver, no maid and not much of a social life. Ive had to scour the internet looking for hobbies and activities - if i want to excercise i need to go walking in the mall! Luckily ive been fortunate enough to find a pilates teacher who works with me twice a week but other than that i havent managed to do much else with my body. The "nice" gym in Khobar closed down 4 months ago due to visa issues with their teachers.. if that excuse is to be believed. But i try... everyday is a struggle to not wallow in self pity. Between going to the grocery store, to helping with homework, to laundry and cooking, pilates and walking in the mall, and the occasional breakfast or coffee with someone - i manage. Do i wish i wasnt living in Saudi - yes most days- especially days when i wish i could just jump in the car and drive to wherever i want.. days when i dont have to rely on a man - be it my husband, a driver, my father in law or anyone else.. Ive lived all over the world, alone and i knew i had it good then - i could go for drinks with friends, go to the cinema, try on clothes in a store, pick up and go at the drop of a hat. It gets me depressed that i cant do most of those things until i travel abroad but i think to myself i have a man that loves me a son that cherishes me, a roof over our heads, a good lifestyle and that soon i will be too busy to miss any of these things because i will have a tiny little human that will depend on me 24/7. I made this choice - to become a mom, to move to Saudi.. i knew what i was getting myself into. But that doesnt mean i can't get depressed about it every now and then - i have to make the most of it.
