Healthcare

Being pregnant in Saudi sucks sometimes, especially when it comes to prenatal care / testing. . if you are lucky enough to have access to medical care in your home country then do it there.

The first Dr i went to - to confirm that i was pregnant - scolded me telling me it was too soon to tell even after i had taken 2 home pregnancy tests confirming that i was pregnant. Silly me i booked with her my follow up appointment 3 weeks later - i was automatically ushered into the ultrasound room - where she did a quick scan and only put on the sound for the heartbeat after i requested it, i was only given a photo also when i requested it. She then said ok goodbye and see you in a month - she did not give me a due date, nor did she give me a pamphlet or any nutritional advice whatsoever. When I said i had questions she gave me attitude and threw out this gem of advice "Eat whatever you want except raw meat, fish and chicken. Do not listen to other people and do not go on the internet and follow what other people are advising" When i said i know i shouldnt eat soft cheeses she just gave a grunt and said do your urine and blood test and ill see you in a month.
My husband and i were shocked... this is our first child together and this bitch of a Dr reduced it to something so trivial and minimal. She took away the joy of our first ultrasound by being a cold hearted witch.
We headed down to the lab to discover that our insurance is no longer accepted with any screening or tests. Turns out Saad Hospital is now overcharging for tests and our insurance company is on to them and refuses to pay such ridiculous prices. Luckily there is a brand new hospital that just opened next to our house: Procare - i booked an appointment with the first available Dr (3 weeks from then) and waited to do my tests.
Luckily i traveled to Jordan in those 3 weeks and saw my OB/GYN there who did the tests for me, we also had a small scare and i was so glad to be in Jordan when it happened. I never thought i would say that. Im always sceptical about healthcare in the Middle East but in comparison to Saudi, you people in Jordan dont know how good you have it.
Back to Saudi and i finally got lucky with the Dr there, she was well informed and much warmer and kinder than the first one i went to. When i asked about doing the screening for chromosomal abnormalities such as Downs Syndrome and Trisomy she said : "Here in Saudi we do not do these tests". Why? "Because its not a requirement"
2 appointments with her and we find out we are having a girl! When i asked her about my upcoming 20 week detailed ultrasound appointment she said that she would no longer be working in the hospital as of next week. I was very disappointed and asked her to recommend another Dr. she said they were all good. So i had to pick someone, i did and booked my next appointment for the 20 week scan. Fast forward 4 weeks, after a standard 1.5 hour wait we saw our new Dr, who then informed us that she does not perform the detailed ultrasound. WHAT?! WHY?!
There are only 2 drs who perform this and one is on vacation. Could no one have told me this when i booked? Why did my last dr fail to mention this even though i specifically asked for the 20 week scan?!  This new Dr looked like a child and i was not comfortable with her at all. I also complained about the lack of prenatal testing and she finally told me the truth about this: Apparently the reason is because they do no want people to find out that there is something wrong with their child and encourage them to get abortions! I said i would rather know if something is wrong with my child beforehand so i can prepare instead of being surprised at the birth. I was outraged.
So i booked my next apointment with the head of they OB/GYN department - who had been recommended to me earlier but i avoided him because he was a male Dr and didnt want my husband to feel uncomfortable. But after experiencing what Saudi had to offer with regards to standard obs i decided to book with him.
Once again i was travelling and managed to get myself an apointment with an amazing Dr in Dubai - who referred me to a clinic that specialises in detailed ultrasounds. Hamdillah everything looked good.
At 25 weeks i went in to see the new Dr. who's bedside manner is a bit cold but still seemed professional. I did my glucose test for gestational diabetes and was told that if i would like the results that i should contact the lab the next day.
After calling the lab everyday an average of 10 times a day i finally get an answer and was told that i cannot get my results and that i must speak to my Dr. Not 1 single Dr has given me their personal number. After pleading and begging with the lab technician he says the results are normal. When i ask for details he says he cant tell me.
I cannot wait for my last apointment with the Dr in Saudi - all i need is my permission slip to travel and head to Jordan where i will kiss the ground that my ob walks on.

One year on

Ive been living in Saudi a year now - i cant believe its already been a year - and i cant believe how many episodes i can possibly stream on my lap top in one day
In the last year ive become a mom to a 10 year old, learnt how to cook a few dishes, learnt that when my husband says he'll do something around the house it means i need to do it myself (hes very good at getting other things done - but anything to do with housework... forget about it)
Ive also learnt that its possible to want to murder and love your child at the same time, ive had to hold my tongue at times but I've also noticed how patient my husband is when i dont and thats when i know ive married the right person.
I have also become pregnant with our first baby - a daughter inshallah - and im counting down the days till i see her face and can hold her and tell her everything will be ok and that ill never let her go. Ill also have to tell her that being a woman in Saudi is very restricting but that she can find ways around things and that she'll have to work double hard to prove herself to this still extremely conservative and patriarchal society. But im not worried about her. I know she can do it. She can do anything she wants...
I truly want to bitch-slap expats - especially arab ones that come to Saudi and live in compounds and complain that their life is tough... especially anyone that lives in Aramco.. You are practically living in a city within a city - you have access to activities, events and as a woman you can even drive! You can go jogging outside your house without a abaya, you have a community to support you - you dont know how good you have it.
Meanwhile i live in a 3 bedroom apartment with no driver, no maid and not much of a social life. Ive had to scour the internet looking for hobbies and activities - if i want to excercise i need to go walking in the mall! Luckily ive been fortunate enough to find a pilates teacher who works with me twice a week but other than that i havent managed to do much else with my body. The "nice" gym in Khobar closed down 4 months ago due to visa issues with their teachers.. if that excuse is to be believed. But i try... everyday is a struggle to not wallow in self pity. Between going to the grocery store, to helping with homework, to laundry and cooking, pilates and walking in the mall, and the occasional breakfast or coffee with someone - i manage. Do i wish i wasnt living in Saudi - yes most days- especially days when i wish i could just jump in the car and drive to wherever i want.. days when i dont have to rely on a man - be it my husband, a driver, my father in law or anyone else.. Ive lived all over the world, alone and i knew i had it good then - i could go for drinks with friends, go to the cinema, try on clothes in a store, pick up and go at the drop of a hat. It gets me depressed that i cant do most of those things until i travel abroad but i think to myself i have a man that loves me a son that cherishes me, a roof over our heads, a good lifestyle and that soon i will be too busy to miss any of these things because i will have a tiny little human that will depend on me 24/7. I made this choice - to become a mom, to move to Saudi.. i knew what i was getting myself into. But that doesnt mean i can't get depressed about it every now and then - i have to make the most of it.

Living in a box

You know in the movies when someone has a bad breakup and all they wanna do is wallow in self pity, eat cereal out of a box and stay in their pjs for days, and then a friend comes over and tells them its not healthy to keep doing this and that they need to move on and get out of the house?
Well, i feel like im doing the exact same thing except im not getting over a bad breakup..
for the last 5 days ive been in my pjs - cooking, doing the laundry, eating ridiculous amounts of carbs and losing myself in reality tv; specifically The Real Housewives of New York.
Unlike the movies - i dont have anyone who's encouraging me to leave the house, because to be honest there isnt anywhere to go!
My options are

• the mall (most stores are closed between 12 and 4pm)
• the gym (i really do need to sign up - but i feel guilty calling the driver and paying 20 riyals for him to drop me a block away from my house - its still a bit too hot to walk it and i literally would need to cover myself like a ninja if i were to attempt walking alone in the streets of Saudi)
• ikea (but how many carpets and cushions can one buy without looking like a hoarder?

i need to find a hobby or a part time job... lord knows i didnt get a masters degree to keep watching shallow narcissistic housewives bitch about which pinot grigio is better..

Katchap kantaky

I dont think ill ever get used to the way Saudis pronounce certain words. I find myself going over the sentence my cousin-in-law said to me in my head... "what did he say?" "is he asking me something?" "what the hell is a Kan ta ky?"
its not until Melman say "Kentucky" that i finally realize that he is talking about KFC.
a few other examples:
HyberBonda = Hyper Panda (the supermarket next to the house)
Sod = Seed
Katchap = Ketchup

i feel like an idiot sometimes when i answer back using the correct pronounciation..
"Yes i am going to Hyper Panda"
"what's that? oh you want me to pass the ketchup?"

Do i seem like a snob coz im saying it differently from them?
Maybe one day without realising ill slowly start pronouncing them like Saudis do... itll slowly creep into my mouth - the way an american living in london for 20 years starts saying lift instead of elevator, or flat instead of apartment.

Week 1 & 2 in Saudi

So the high of the Honeymoon is wearing off - the Maldives is absolute paradise - but the bill nearly put us in debt - and im finally having the "oh dear God did i really move to Saudi" moment. I actually was of sound mind when i made the decision to move here for the man i love but in my defence Im in love!
We moved into our non-furnished brand new 3 bedroom apartment on day 3 of being in Saudi - we had a bed set up and little else. Ikea has huge demand in Saudi and thankfully the only thing we picked out from there were our closets - which need 3 weeks to deliver!
After a few mishaps.. hubby had the water hose explode on him in the bathroom - luckily he wasnt actually using it at the time on his tush ... but it did take us a good 2 minutes to find where the water main was so the bathroom was slightly flooded. To add to our exciting evening i then managed to elbow my husband in the forehead as he tried to lean in for a goodnight kiss while i was putting my phone on silent and turning back to lay down.

Other than that ive learnt a few useful things in my 2 weeks of being here, for example:

1. it will take more than a week of practise to put on the hijab and have it stay on more than 5 minutes. Your father-in-law will constantly laugh and tease at how amateur you are. 
2. the majority of bathrooms do not have hooks in the stalls... how do women pee in their Abayas?! what ive learnt is, you need mad skill and strong teeth.
3. having said that, wearing the Abaya is actually quite liberating, i never have to worry if i look fat or wonder if someone is checking me out... men do not devour me with their eyes and are actually very respectful
4. it is never too late to eat a whole lamb.. yes even at 11pm.. and no, you can't refuse coz that would be an insult, especially to your mother-in-law who has slaved away all day trying to cook for you a traditional dish
5. do not wait for medical services to get to the scene of an accident - this i learnt first hand - luckily she wasnt badly hurt and luckily there was a hospital about 1 minute away
6. Most men in Saudi do not know how to drive, i think the real reason they dont want women to drive here is because they dont want someone to show them how its done. 
7. On average you will witness at least 5 car accidents. 
8. The men here do take great care of their women - and they said chivalry was dead
9. Do not run in your abaya... people will think your an alien. 
10. Is that a seven year old behind the wheel? Yes it is! Try to stop him? He'll tell you its none of your damn business
11. Want to get some shopping done? need something urgent from the store? Learn your prayer times... everything closes for at least 30 minutes. You cant go in to some places and you definitely cant pay during prayer time..