Living in a box

You know in the movies when someone has a bad breakup and all they wanna do is wallow in self pity, eat cereal out of a box and stay in their pjs for days, and then a friend comes over and tells them its not healthy to keep doing this and that they need to move on and get out of the house?
Well, i feel like im doing the exact same thing except im not getting over a bad breakup..
for the last 5 days ive been in my pjs - cooking, doing the laundry, eating ridiculous amounts of carbs and losing myself in reality tv; specifically The Real Housewives of New York.
Unlike the movies - i dont have anyone who's encouraging me to leave the house, because to be honest there isnt anywhere to go!
My options are

• the mall (most stores are closed between 12 and 4pm)
• the gym (i really do need to sign up - but i feel guilty calling the driver and paying 20 riyals for him to drop me a block away from my house - its still a bit too hot to walk it and i literally would need to cover myself like a ninja if i were to attempt walking alone in the streets of Saudi)
• ikea (but how many carpets and cushions can one buy without looking like a hoarder?

i need to find a hobby or a part time job... lord knows i didnt get a masters degree to keep watching shallow narcissistic housewives bitch about which pinot grigio is better..

Katchap kantaky

I dont think ill ever get used to the way Saudis pronounce certain words. I find myself going over the sentence my cousin-in-law said to me in my head... "what did he say?" "is he asking me something?" "what the hell is a Kan ta ky?"
its not until Melman say "Kentucky" that i finally realize that he is talking about KFC.
a few other examples:
HyberBonda = Hyper Panda (the supermarket next to the house)
Sod = Seed
Katchap = Ketchup

i feel like an idiot sometimes when i answer back using the correct pronounciation..
"Yes i am going to Hyper Panda"
"what's that? oh you want me to pass the ketchup?"

Do i seem like a snob coz im saying it differently from them?
Maybe one day without realising ill slowly start pronouncing them like Saudis do... itll slowly creep into my mouth - the way an american living in london for 20 years starts saying lift instead of elevator, or flat instead of apartment.

Week 1 & 2 in Saudi

So the high of the Honeymoon is wearing off - the Maldives is absolute paradise - but the bill nearly put us in debt - and im finally having the "oh dear God did i really move to Saudi" moment. I actually was of sound mind when i made the decision to move here for the man i love but in my defence Im in love!
We moved into our non-furnished brand new 3 bedroom apartment on day 3 of being in Saudi - we had a bed set up and little else. Ikea has huge demand in Saudi and thankfully the only thing we picked out from there were our closets - which need 3 weeks to deliver!
After a few mishaps.. hubby had the water hose explode on him in the bathroom - luckily he wasnt actually using it at the time on his tush ... but it did take us a good 2 minutes to find where the water main was so the bathroom was slightly flooded. To add to our exciting evening i then managed to elbow my husband in the forehead as he tried to lean in for a goodnight kiss while i was putting my phone on silent and turning back to lay down.

Other than that ive learnt a few useful things in my 2 weeks of being here, for example:

1. it will take more than a week of practise to put on the hijab and have it stay on more than 5 minutes. Your father-in-law will constantly laugh and tease at how amateur you are. 
2. the majority of bathrooms do not have hooks in the stalls... how do women pee in their Abayas?! what ive learnt is, you need mad skill and strong teeth.
3. having said that, wearing the Abaya is actually quite liberating, i never have to worry if i look fat or wonder if someone is checking me out... men do not devour me with their eyes and are actually very respectful
4. it is never too late to eat a whole lamb.. yes even at 11pm.. and no, you can't refuse coz that would be an insult, especially to your mother-in-law who has slaved away all day trying to cook for you a traditional dish
5. do not wait for medical services to get to the scene of an accident - this i learnt first hand - luckily she wasnt badly hurt and luckily there was a hospital about 1 minute away
6. Most men in Saudi do not know how to drive, i think the real reason they dont want women to drive here is because they dont want someone to show them how its done. 
7. On average you will witness at least 5 car accidents. 
8. The men here do take great care of their women - and they said chivalry was dead
9. Do not run in your abaya... people will think your an alien. 
10. Is that a seven year old behind the wheel? Yes it is! Try to stop him? He'll tell you its none of your damn business
11. Want to get some shopping done? need something urgent from the store? Learn your prayer times... everything closes for at least 30 minutes. You cant go in to some places and you definitely cant pay during prayer time..